Autonomy is NOT Always Easy. Acquiescence Is.
We know that in many relationships, only one of the partners controls the household money. I am reminded of a situation about 10 years ago. There was the annual Holiday party at the Research & Development lab that employed us (the late great AT&T Human Interface Technology Center). A group of us decided to put together a set of Celtic tunes (I was the fiddler) for the party. We had a great penny whistle player, who unfortunately only had a C-whistle. We all know that a C-whistle is not much good except for the rare tune in C. A whistle player needs to have at least a high D, a G and an A whistle in their armory…also should have a B-flat and an F whistle if they are really committed players. Well, of course every tune we wanted to play was either in D or A.
Simple solution, right? Whistle player needed to get a high D and A whistle, which totaled up to about $15 for the pair. Not so simple…spouse nixed the purchase. We ended up having to change the keys of every tune (I just re-tuned my fiddle like a lot of Cajun fiddlers do in deference to the almighty Cajun accordion…no way was I going to give up my open-strings for some Strathspeys and reels that kind of depended on an open D-string).
You can guess the reaction of the other serious musicians in our pick-up band when they heard that our whistle player could not get permission to buy a couple of items that together cost about a third of a set of strings. Reactions were polite, but private feelings ranged from pity to rage and combination of the two emotions...combined emotions are always tricky, are they not?Why is this relevant?
Last week I was asked to put together an “outfit” price on a fiddle, bow, case, etc. I would not have done so were this not a “sure thing” and the purchaser simply needed a little incentive to close the deal. This sale would have cured a lot a financial pain that we are going through right now. What an idiot I was. As soon as the potential customer sent me an email saying that he/she had to discuss the purchase with his/her spouse, I should have known it was all over.
But you see, my relationship with my SO is one of equality. I forgot that everyone is not so fortunate.
Sure enough; next day I got an email that the spouse pointed out that there are other apparently similar instruments for less money on the market and the deal was off. I could say that it is funny, but it is actually sad that this person may actually buy an instrument that does not come close to ours in playability, sound-quality and so forth. I don't need to say what the sadder part is, do I?
Bottom Line:
PLEASE do not contact us about special pricing on outfits or custom instruments that you cannot simply order via the Adventurous Muse Online Store until you have checked with the person who controls your finances or, better still, you have an equal partnership. Don’t be offended if we ask you whether you have the familial authority to make purchases. We will all be a lot happier for it.
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